Yeah, I'm getting old

I was just going over my calendar, and realized what day it is. If I had stayed in the Air Force, I could be retiring today. Wow. Wrap your brain around that one!

It doesn't feel like 20 years since I sat in that room at the MEPS station in Detroit, waiting for the bus that would take me to the airport that would take me to San Antonio, Texas for basic training. It doesn't feel like it's been that long since we stumbled off the bus at Lackland in the dark and played "Pick them up, put them down" with our luggage as our training instructors screamed at us. I don't know how long it feels like, but it doesn't seem like it's been two decades. Maybe that's because I'm just getting to the age when I can remember what I was doing decades ago. Hmm, there's a thought!

I can safely say that I am a very different person than I was 20 years ago today. Thank goodness for that! I was still a teen then, sure that I had the answers and that once I got through basic and tech school I'd be home free to do whatever I wanted. I lived under than delusion for a few years, and then I had a baby and my husband deployed within three weeks. Desert Storm was what finally made me grow up. I shudder to think what I'd be like if I hadn't had those eight months of hell.

I can't help wondering how my life would be different today if I hadn't separated from the Air Force 12 years ago. Certainly I wouldn't have a resume as long as my arm, and I wouldn't have homeschooled my kids. We would be in much better shape financially, but our family could well be in ruins. Dual military families with kids are tough to keep together. I got out because our kids needed a parent at home. They were babies and faced being orphaned if their parents were deployed, and I couldn't live with that. In my heart I knew our family had better things ahead with only one military member, but it took us years of financial struggle to get back on our feet when our income was halved.

Who knows where we'd be if I'd stayed in, or even if I'd put in two more years and gotten out when I maxed out the time in grade for my rank. One of the great blessings from God is that we can't see too far into the future, and we can't know what might have been. That doesn't stop us from trying, of course. Kids will test the limits no matter how old they are.

I'm happy with where we are in our lives now. We're in a place that's good and safe. It's still too far to Mom's house. We're still not close to ready for college and ultimate retirement, which are approaching far too quickly. But we're blessed, and I wouldn't trade it.