If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always had.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Distant glimmer of hope

It's just a little pinprick of light at this point, but I'll take it. I've been struggling with my writing all year. Longer than that, really. I thought, at first, that it was a discipline problem, that if I just sat down and got started that I'd get through it. My word count dropped. I lost my passion. Worse, I lost my plots.

I went over to Forward Motion, thinking that if anyone could tell me what I was doing wrong, or even if I was supposed to keep writing at all, I'd find them there. I got good answers and confirmation that I should be writing, but not *the* answer. Holly Lisle's offer to beta test her "Beating Writers Block" clinic has proven to be the answer, at least so far.

I've almost been afraid to blog about my progress. It's been so tenuous, almost fragile. I thought I'd lost it when I went out of town last weekend and didn't write for several days. Walter kept whispering ideas, but I didn't have time to get to them. I was concerned that he'd quit talking altogether again; he's cynical and distrustful, but how can you expect anything more from an introverted, hen-pecked Brit?

I signed up for NaNo last month, but I'm not going to make it this year. I probably won't come close; as of today, I'm a little over 8,000 words for the month. With less than two weeks left it's going to take a small miracle to pull it off. But I've been beating Walter up, pushing too hard, and when he stops having fun, everything goes to pot. To paraphrase a popular quote, if Walter ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I had to realize that "lead, follow, or get out of the way" doesn't apply to him. I was trying to lead when he wanted me to follow and get out of the way! It's hard, it's frustrating, but Holly's podcasts assure me that things will improve.

So that's where we are--slowly emerging from the dark.



Blogger Jean said...

A hen-pecked Brit? Poor Walter! I was at 13.5k this morning for NaNo and near despair. I'm at 18.1k right now and pushing forward. Maybe...Maybe I can make it.I'm not ready to concede yet.

Glad to hear the program is working for you. I'm looking forward to it becoming available on Monday so I can get my copy.

5:56 PM  
Blogger Valerie Comer said...

Hugs, EJ! I guess trading Walter in on this year's model is not to be considered?


I can see his uni-brow descending from over here.

5:10 PM  
Blogger EJ said...

LOL Valerie! How'd you know about the unibrow?

Lighten up, Walter, she's only teasing.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Valerie Comer said...

Of COURSE he has a unibrow! He's a cynical, distrustful, introverted, hen-pecked Brit! (To quote someone I know.)

I can seeeeee him you know.

5:41 PM  

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